7.12.2011

"Tuesday Topic": 5 Lessons My First Love Taught Me



Lord knows I learned a lot of things from this particular guy, some good and some bad. I just saw the Beyoncé' video, today and this got me to thinking.
So today I'm going to talk about only a few of the lessons I learned while dating this guy off and on from the time I was 15 until I was about 21. Hope you ladies enjoy and as always COMMENT, so we can get a discussion going.

Happy Tuesday!

1) It doesn't matter how pretty you are, if he doesn't want you, he just doesn't want you

Halle Berry knows it, but I didn't. Being the naive teenager/early 20 year old I was I some how thought that if I was cute enough, pretty enough, bad enough my boyfriend would only see me and only want me because I was beautiful (stupid I know, right?)

2) If he doesn't like your size/shape, he probably never will

For some reason I wasn't blessed with big titties, a big booty or thick thighs. I have faced the fact that I will never be voluptuous like say a video vixen. I've always been a petite young lady. At 98lbs and 20 years old my boyfriend apparently didn't like that I was so skinny and often teased me about not being his ideal weight. Like there was anything I could do about it.

3) People change, and it's not always for the good

In my mind he was always going to be the same loving boy I met in 10th grade. But then we went to college, hard times came, he started drinking and smoking excessively and then he went away to a different school and joined a frat. That person I saw almost on a daily basis wasn't there anymore, he was hanging with a different crowd, I was going one direction and he another.

4) Long distance relationships usually don't work... especially in college

It's pretty much a waste of time, they're not faithful and how can you expect them to be? Temptation is EVERYWHERE!

5) Love is blind, period

Often times when you want something to work really bad, you overlook things that you wouldn't ordinarily.

5 comments:

  1. I totally love this point! Good idea :]

    1.) Halle Berry - perfect example. You can be drop dead gorgeous and if he's not feelin you then he's just not feelin.

    2.) OMG, this gets an amen! My ex would always say "if you just had a little bit more ____, you'd be so badd." Like, what the f*ck? This is me, and I'm not going to get ass implants to make you feel better, tool. Ugh. That's why I'm so happy the boyfriend I have now has always loved my body, even when there are little things I'm insecure about.

    3.) People do change. It's sad, but it's true.

    4.) AFREAKINGMEN! You are preaching to the choir.

    I wanna like this post 100000X over, haha.

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  2. Hey girl,

    LOL! Thanks for the comment! I see you were feeling me on this one. Yeah, the whole thing about size, I'm so blessed that my husband really loves me for the size I am.Ha, we wouldn't have gotten married if he didn't! Sounds like you have the same too :) Isn't it a good feeling to have someone who loves you the way you are?

    -Nikki

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  3. All of these are lessons I had to learn the HARD way. I mean so hard, because I just didn't seem to get it in my teens and early twenties. And the fact that people change but not always for the best has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. Just like you, I wanted someone I used to love to remain that sweet, considerate guy he was in high school but the real world happens to us all. Not always in a pretty way, either.

    Oddly enough, my first love taught me so much that I have needed to know throughout life and relationships. Thank God I finally started paying attention to the lessons or I would have been beat in the head forever with the same type of jerk over and over lol.

    Love love love this post. A must read for anybody who is feelin Bey's song right now. I think we all can relate.

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  4. Thanks so much for your comment Miss Dre! I know many of us have had to learn the hard way, unfortunately. Glad you enjoyed this post!

    -Nikki

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  5. So true..
    1) & 2)Beauty can not be all of it, not only it fades away at some point but there will always be prettier around. True love is never based on the physical..
    3)People are meant to grow together but that unfortunately doesn't always happen
    4)the few that work are always with a lot of trust and communication. and of course you need to know you are going to meet again at some point otherwise someone always give up.
    5)crazy how you know that but it sometimes still manage to happen to you. i guess when you love you just need to believe..

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