"God Bless the Child Thats Got His Own"

11.26.2011


About two months ago I turned 27 years old. This year was more of a reflection sort of birthday. My parents and my husband were really the only people I celebrated with. I wanted to have a big gathering but for some reason or other it just didn’t work out that way.

I kinda waited to late to organize something and three other family members were having something so I just said next year.

This year has been a difficult one though. Finding out I’m pregnant for the second time, getting disappointed again, only to find out I’ve suffered another miscarriage. Struggling through a period of depression and getting back out into the work world and starting a business of my own.
I was recently reflecting on my latest baby I lost. I think about both of my little angels every day, but November 5th was the day I was supposed to be due with Aiden, the baby I lost in April due to a miscarriage.

When I look on Facebook it seems that EVERYBODY has a kid(s) these days, married or not. Sometimes it bothers me and I think “Why is that not my husband and I”?

It irks me sometimes when I run into people I know and they ask, “Do you have any kids yet?” Even though they aren’t aware of what I’ve been through, I smile, nod and say, “No, not yet”.
But even though I have suffered the loss of two babies, and I’m only 27, I am still hopeful that we will have a family one day.

At some point in time you have to stop and say, “I’m ok with the way my life is right now.” We are working, healthy and we are surrounded by love.

The time will come when we have a family, but for right now my husband and I are chilin’ and we are “OK” with that.

7 comments:

  1. We as people need to be mindful of others. Like you said, they didn't know your situation but I think we need to word things so that we don't come off the wrong way. Maybe that's just me being the kind person I am.
    I'm sorry for your lost. I know it must be hard for the both of you & YOU especially. Keep your head up & God first. God has a plan for you & yours. Praise God you made it to 27 years :). I admire you.

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  2. Thank you so much Ashley for your kind words! I appreciate your comment more than you'll ever know. Glad that I can connect with a reader like you. I see you really understood me on this post!
    Thanks!

    -Nikki :)

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  3. Awww hun. I'm sending out prayers that that WILL be you and your husband really soon :) Stay away from Facebook, it's just Fakebook, no one ever posts about bad things going on in their lives, or puts up pictures of themselves at their worst. And yes you are right to celebrate what you already have :) many aren't as lucky ;) I hope 2012 will be the year of positive changes + additions for you!!! X

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  4. Sorry for your loss! Im glad you wrote this post because my bf of 3 yrs and I were talking a lot about marriage and kids this weekend. And while I would love to have both rite now..I just don't know if I am ready personally. Its good to want for things but its even better to know that it all will happen in God's time. God will never put more on us than we can bear. Keep your head up and stay blessed!

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  5. Kam,

    Thank you for your comment! You're right, facebook is so fake at times. I do stay off of it most of the time because my timeline is rediculous. Not just with the baby pictures and all but with alot of whinning about relationships and a bunch of negativity. It gets old. I am thankful that I made it to 27 and that right now should be enough.

    -Nikki :)

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  6. Maisha,

    Thank you for your comment! It's true, you do have to be ready for all that comes with the responsibilities of a family. I know many of my classmates were forced into it and probably were not ready at all.

    I get impatient sometimes wanting things to happen on my own time, but you're right, they have to happen in Gods time. And who's to say I won't become a mom when I'm 40. Whether it's 27 or 40, my husband and I will be so happy and thankful for my little blessing when it does happen.

    -Nikki :)

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  7. Hey honey,
    i was really moved by your story. I also just turned 27 in August and i know i can't relate because I've never been through what you did but i can just about image.
    Always keep God in your heart and never give up hope.

    Sara xoxo
    http://artistryrefined.blogspot.com

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